political convention

political convention

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Foreign Affairs and the Latest Hate (Obama) Mail

First it was the speech to a joint session of Congress by Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu. He delighted his Republican hosts by mocking President Obama's efforts to reach an accord with Iran on nuclear weapons. Following was a letter signed by 47 Republican senators telling the president of Iran that the negotiations with the Obama administration would go nowhere unless Senate Republicans approved. Republicans were clearly out to subvert President Obama's constitutional role as America's foreign policy leader. What's next in this unprecedented campaign to undermine the authority and credibility of the President of the United States? There's new mail.

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi,
ISIS headquarters, Syria

Dear Grand Caliph,

You no doubt have heard of the president’s request to the U.S. Senate to ratify military action against your organization. So far we’ve prevented approval of his proposal. This may please you because it makes our so-called commander and chief look weak. And to tell you the truth that’s really what we’re up to. It would help out a lot if you’d stop beheading people for a while.  A little less pressure from your side will give us time to work out all of the constitutional angles so we can nail our next ex-president for exceeding his powers.

Yours Truly,
Senate Republicans

Kim Jong Un, 
Marshall of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea,

Dear Glorious Leader,

As you know, the United States has helped North Korea from time to time with shipments of specialty food items like rice and wheat. Delivery of the food was made possible because of a vague agreement aimed at getting you to stop shooting off atomic bombs. But, if you don’t mind, we’d like to let you know that any agreement between you and the United States must be approved by us as members of the Senate.Thus, future food shipments are in doubt because we haven’t given the thumbs up to this unconstitutional arrangement. But please, don’t worry about how all this affects the development of your nuclear weapons. We’re just happy the agreement has failed and what’s-his-name has lost another round.

With warm regards,
Senate Republicans

President Nicolas Maduro, 
Caracas, Venezuela

Dear SeƱor Presidente,

Please don’t be swayed by the recent jingoistic advertising that boasts that the U.S. may now be the world’s top energy producer. We still need that economy-priced Venezuelan crude–or at least some of our big petroleum refiners would like it. That’s why we want you to know that when our next ex-president criticizes your human rights record and spies on your government, he does it without our approval. His actions run counter to our Constitution, especially the parts that make it okay for members of Congress to receive large monetary contributions from oil companies that deal in cheap petroleum shipped from abroad.  So take it easy amigo and we’ll handle this guy. 

Yours truly,
Senate Republicans

President Vladimir Putin,
The Kremlin, Moscow, USSR

Dear Vlad, (as old friends, I hope we can call you that):

Our so-called commander and chief continues to make a hash of relations with your country. Most of us Republicans in the Senate (you remember John and his pal Lindsey) think we should threaten military support for Ukraine and impose stronger economic sanctions on your country. You may take offense at these suggestions. But not to worry. Our next ex-president is being skittish because he doesn’t want to start a major war. But there’s a constitutional principle we want to exercise at all costs. By goading what’s-his-name into talking tough to you, he’ll eventually have to come crawling to us for advice and consent.That’s in the Constitution, isn’t it? We’ll make our point about who has the final say on foreign policy and the so-called commander and chief can slink off to join his pals Angela and Francois to try to talk you into being nice. Once again we’ll have shown him up for the weakling he is.   

All the best,
Senate Republicans

No comments:

Post a Comment