political convention

political convention

Friday, August 22, 2014

ISIS Beheading: President Putts While Cheney and Others Hit the Rough

Has anyone noticed the gaunt features and tired demeanor of President Obama lately? It’s not surprising with the unrelenting deluge of crisis and turmoil he’s faced since taking office: Deep economic disaster, bitter and obstructive hatred from Republicans, a Congress significantly controlled by right-wing crack pots, two wars, Libyan crisis, Syria, Iraqi dissolution, Putin, Ukraine… The latest of these challenges is the Islamic terrorists group called ISIS, which now controls large swaths of Iraq.  Last week, ISIS fighters beheaded an American hostage, journalist James Foley.  President Obama went on television to sadly console Foley’s parents.  And then he promised “relentless” pursuit of the terrorists.

It is hard to imagine being President of the United States. To go on television to discuss the gruesome murder of a fellow citizen and then to address his parents is a task that would leave most ordinary people emotionally exhausted.  Most people would never want to do it again and probably would never have to.  Not so for Obama. 

A month before Obama's televised remarks,  the United States military on the President's orders secretly attempted to rescue James Foley and at least one other hostage.  The special forces operation failed because ISIS had moved the hostages just before the raid. No one knows whether other plans are in the works to save remaining ISIS prisoners or what other torturous decisions await Obama.  Despite being on vacation, the President looked careworn before the cameras.

Afterward, Obama went for a round of golf. The New York Times reported that former vice president Dick Cheney told Fox News, the President “would rather be on the golf course than he would be dealing with crisis.”  A New York tabloid headlined: Prez tees off as Foley’s parents grieve.”  According to the Times, liberal blogger Ezra Klein tweeted that “golfing today is in bad taste.” Times columnist Maureen Dowd contributed flimsy satire on presidential golf through the ages. 

It isn’t publicly known how the President felt or if his exhausted appearance improved after an hour or so of relaxation on the golf course.  Perhaps returning to the cacophony of Washington or sitting alone in silence while anxiously ruminating about the next crisis, or standing by for the next fateful phone call, would have done wonders for his state of mind. 

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

New York Times Confirms that Bald Eagle Poop is White and Robin Poop is Purple

The following correction ran on page A19 of the New York Times ,Wednesday, August 20:

An Op-Ed essay on Monday described bald eagles and ospreys incorrectly. They eat fish, and their poop is white; they do not eat berries and excrete purple feces. (Other birds, like American robins, Eurasian starlings and cedar waxwings, do.)

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Global Warming, Drought in California, Jihadi Victory? It's All Obama's Fault

President Obama is one of the most powerful men in history.  Alexander the Great ranks a little higher because he conquered nearly all the great nations of the ancient world and imposed his Hellenistic culture and values on their inhabitants.  But Obama is catching up, and some of his accomplishments have been downright magical.

Among them:

He’s prevented the U.S. Senate from approving numerous ambassadorial appointments simply by snubbing senators who are anxious to work with him. According to the New York Times, Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid was thunderstruck at a recent White House meeting when the President told him to go back to his office and talk to his senatorial colleagues if he wanted a vote on the new ambassadors.  Reid could only blubber in his customary manner.

Obama’s powerful reach from the Oval Office also continues to slow down other important Senate actions.  Senator Joe Manchin, a West Virginia Democrat, says that if only the President held hands with legislators and gave them encouragement, issues like immigration reform and climate change could be resolved.  Manchin, who is considered a centrist by undiscerning journalists, is a regular advocate on behalf of the coal industry and the NRA.  These groups seem to love holding his hand.  
 
Governor Rick Perry of Texas is also keenly aware of the President’s might.  Perry was indicted by an Austin grand jury for abusing his power as governor by threatening to withhold funding for a state ethics commission.  According to Perry, Obama exerted his influence on grand jurors and prosecutors to invent the felony charges against him.  Obama has no legal power in a local matter, but we now know that he has god-like omnipotence when it comes to Texas politics.

According to Sen. John McCain, the President also has great power internationally. He has made it possible for jihadist rebels in Syria to achieve huge gains in their campaign to destroy the Assad regime.  Like Zeus, the President’s ability to pick winners and losers among mortals is extraordinary. 

Likewise, Hilary Clinton sees Obama as a colossus who long ago  could have resolved the Syrian problem by sending equipment and advisors to help anti-Assad  moderates.  But now she chafes under Obama’s Zen-inspired diplomacy, which has allowed the Kurds to effectively take on ISIS fighters in northern Iraq without significant ground involvement by the U.S. 

There is not enough space here to detail other great acts by the President.  But according to observers, he has been a major cause of climate change; has abetted the drought in western states; has promoted mass immigration to the U.S. by not throwing out unaccompanied children who have illegally crossed the border; has insured continued war between Israelis and Palestinians; and is destroying the American economy and the educational system. 

The President's power is awesome…and it really helps to have someone to blame for all our problems.