political convention

political convention
Twitter: @PhilipKipper

Monday, March 5, 2012

Andrew Breitbart Lives

Andrew Breitbart, a longtime conservative writer, blogger and notorious political provocateur, died March 1 after collapsing on a Los Angeles sidewalk. He was 43. The cause of death wasn’t immediately known. Breitbart gained notariety in 2009 when he and associates distributed an undercover video purporting to show members of ACORN, a liberal voter registration organization, offering assistance to actors posing as a pimp and prostitute. An investigation by the California Attorney General’s office concluded that the video had been selectively edited to show criminal activity when none existed. Nevertheless, a national conservative outcry forced ACORN to cease operation. In 2010 Breitbart was responsible for a video broadcast on cable news that showed Shirley Sherrod, a Department of Agriculture official, speaking to the NAACP about her work in rural Georgia. Sherrod, who is black, acknowledged that she was hesitant to help a white farmer get government aid because of her past experience with racism. However, she later recognized that her feelings were wrong and she successfully helped the man. Breitbart’s video, however, was edited to leave the impression that racial animosity continued to affect her work. As a result of the video, Sherrod was abruptly fired. Later, when it became clear the video was an intentional distortion, Sherrod was offered her old job back, which she declined. She sued Breitbart for defamation and the case is pending.
 

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Andrew Breitbart isn’t really dead.  LaughingStockNation sent out video producers posing as tearful acolytes to investigate his death.  Paramedics were asked to confirm that the body taken to the hospital was Breitbart’s  They said:  "All we know is that we hauled away a very dead middle-aged man.  His identity is unknown."  Later the coroner told us identification of the body awaits lab results. "We are not able to say if  the man is or is not Breitbart."  Our reporters also checked with local people in the area and showed a picture of Breitbart to them.  Asked if a man seen walking away from the scene of the collapse was the same person  in the picture, a news vender said he wasn’t sure.  Later, a spokesperson for Breitbart was asked to describe what his close friends were feeling about Breitbart's mysterious death.  Smiling, he said, we all await the reincarnation, but we are all saddened, of course, by the tragedy.” Asked what he meant by reincarnation, the spokesperson said, “well, we think Andrew may come back as a liberal. Of course, no one associated with a major intellectual force like Andrew believes such nonsense.” He turned with a wink to a stocky man in the far corner of the room wearing a long raincoat and a hat pulled low over his eyes.  
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The old saying goes that one mustn’t speak ill of the dead.  But ,why not? They’re dead.  Of course, it’s an open question whether Breitbart has indeed passed on.  As an exposed liar and defiler of accepted ethical standards, there’s more than an even chance he faked his own death. Why would he do that?  Like any conjurer and con artist he needs a break to refresh his act.  It’s a good guess he‘ll turn up at the Democratic National Convention with his concealed video camera to secretly tape President Obama’s remarks to an aide just before his acceptance speech: 

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Obama: “After that fiasco at the Republican convention, I’m feeling like….Wow, Romney is a sorry character. He is never going to win. Not a chance.

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